Pretty powerful and amazing weekend at Vineyard. Our Saturday service and our 11am service were among the most powerful I've ever had the privilege of leading. There was a ton of FREEDOM for many people this weekend. Thank you Jesus for being our guide and teacher.
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Hello
everyone…
·
When we started planning for this series, I felt
like God told me that it had the potential to be a “Church Changing” series for
the Vineyard.
·
In fact, I believe that the revelation of this
series could literally change our church from the Inside Out.
·
Today, we’re going to build on the issue of our
bodies by engaging the topic of our: Sexual Identity.
Prayer
From
a very young age, we are taught to let sex identify us. We are bombarded with
this idea that our sexual identity is the most important thing in our lives.
As a
young boy, I was taught things like:
·
The biggest and strongest kids will be the
winners at sports.
·
The girls like the guys with the cutest hair
(thank God that’s not always true).
And
it evolves as you grow up:
·
Now that you’re a winner at sports, you need to
be a winner with the girls.
·
If you get the pretty girls to like you (or even
kiss you), then you’ll really have arrived.
And
the lies spread:
·
Everyone’s seen a girl naked (porn, movie, real
life)… why haven’t you?
·
Haven’t had sex yet? What’s wrong with you?
Young
girls don’t have it much different… and it too starts early:
·
Oh don’t you look pretty in that dress.
·
You should wear makeup… pierce your ears… dye
your hair (as if what God created wasn’t good enough).
·
Flirt with the cute boys to get them to talk to
you, to like you or even kiss you.
And
the lies spread:
·
He won’t stick around if you don’t go further
with him?
·
Haven’t had sex yet? What’s wrong with you?
Many
of us buy into the sexual identity… sometimes without even realizing it…
I
know that I did.
I’ve
often shared with you: that before I met Jesus, I was angry, frustrated and
super selfish. These things manifested really strongly as I believed my
loneliness and my reality could be fixed and cured by a relationship or sex.
Then, I pursued it without thinking.
Most
believe that our loneliness can be solved by a physical relationship. We
believe that if we don’t have that physical relationship, then something is
wrong with us… or we need to pursue a different kind of physical relationship.
DIL:
Our
lives will never be “full” by pursuing the opinions, praise or touch of others:
Colossians
1:19 tells us that “In (Jesus)him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell.”
And 1:27 tells us that “the glory of this mystery is Christ in
you.” If God’s fullness is in Christ, and Christ’s fullness is in you…
Then,
our lives will only be “full” through relationship with Jesus.
Two Lies
BUT,
most have bought into one of these 2 lies:
1)
Society’s
Lie: All sex is good.
a. If
it feels good, then it’s ok.
b. If
it makes you happy, then go for it.
c. We’re
all lonely, so fill that void.
d. If
we believe the lie that “all sex is good,” then only having it in some way will
define us.
e.
This lie will always leave us hollow & unfulfilled.
2)
Religion’s
Lie: All sex is bad.
a. If
it feels that good, then it must be bad.
b. Sex
feels so guilty then it must be worst sin on the planet.
c. If
you’re lonely, then you need to fix something in yourself. Work harder, pray
more, and devote yourself to avoiding carnal desire.
d. If
we believe the lie that “all sex is evil,” then we are still letting our sexual identity define us… instead of
letting what Jesus believes about us define us!
e.
This lie will always leave us guilty and ashamed.
The Word on Sex
What
happens when we take these 2 lies and hold them up to the truth of the Word of
God? Today, we want to see how these 2 lies effect the way we view sex… it’s
goods and its “bads.” This is not about us doing a Bible study on what the Word
says about sex… for the Bible is unafraid to engage every sexual issue, but
that’s not for today. It’s about us understanding that even the way we read
what the Bible says about sex can be effected by the lens we use to view our
identity.
THE GOOD and THE BAD
(1) HEALTHY IDENTITY
·
A healthy identity begins when we pay attention
to God’s design (how He views us)… and let Him define us.
·
And, the way we view sex is no different.
·
The Word tells us that God’s design for sex is
GOOD!
o
GOD’S CREATION. (Genesis 1, 2 and 4)
o
OBEDIENCE to God’s design.
o
Celebrated in Song of Solomon (Old Testament).
o
Intimate Communication in the NT. (Ephesians 5)
o
Intended for a man & a woman.
o
Intended for marriage.
o
ALWAYS intended for love.
o
NEVER intended to be selfish.
o
NEVER to be avoided by married couples. (1Corinthians
7:1-5)
·
There is a lot to teach on there, but let’s look
at what the lies do
·
Society’s
Lie – If sex is good, then do it because it feels good. Don’t worry about
what the partner wants/needs. This is about your happiness.
·
Religion’s
Lie – This is about giving, so don’t enjoy it. You can have sex in
marriage, but it’s only to populate the earth as God commanded in Genesis.
Where
is the truth?
·
Who you are should define your actions, not the
other way around! So when we read: I Corinthians 6:18
·
“Flee from sexual immorality. Every other
sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins
against his own body.”
·
We must recognize that all sin (sexual included)
is viewed the same by God (Romans 3) and should be avoided as not a part of our
new nature.
·
We must recognize that sexual issues and Jesus
have trouble coexisting in our bodies…
o
Jesus in you is your new nature
o
the desires of your old nature don’t belong
anymore
o
Holy Spirit may be tugging on you right now
even.
o
The Holy Spirit (John 16:8) “will convict the world concerning sin (non-believer) and righteousness
(conscience of the believer) and judgment (Satan).”
There’s a whole new way to look at sex:
·
Your fullness is in Jesus… not in your sexual
identity and not in your relationship with your spouse.
·
So, put Him at the center of your marriage.
·
If Jesus’ fullness is in both of you, then sex becomes
something that married couples should celebrate and enjoy as a gift from God.
·
If you’re not married, then quit trying to find
fullness in relationships and give yourself wholly to Jesus…
·
then, when the 2 of you come together, you can
celebrate what God has given you.
(2) UNHEALTHY
An unhealthy identity begins when we pay attention to
society’s design (for sex)… and let our eyes (what we see & experience)
define us …this comes in conflict with our healthy hearts.
Take
a look at what Paul says in his letter to the Colossians. I’m going to read
this from the Mirror Bible… starting
in chapter 3.
3:5-7 “Consider the members of your body as dead and buried towards
everything related to the porn industry, sensual uncleanness, longing for
forbidden things, lust and greed, which are just another form of idol worship.
These distorted expressions are in total contradiction to God’s design and
desire for your life. We were all once swept along into a lifestyle of lust and
greed.”
·
Can you hear Paul’s heart here? He’s showing us
that our old bodily desires (like our heart) have been replaced by something
new in Jesus.
·
He uses phrases like “consider your body
dead/buried” towards the sexual identity of this world. They don’t line up with
God’s view of you.
·
You “all” used to live that way, but you don’t
have to anymore… we’re free!
How does that unhealthy identity try to creep in?
·
When we avoid God’s plan for sex (obvious ones).
o
Sex with someone not your spouse.
o
Kissing someone not your spouse.
o
Holding hands.
o
SINGLES: sex outside of marriage
·
When we look where we shouldn’t which allows
darkness a foothold. (Eyes are the lamps of your body… the gateway).
o
Watching or surfing for porn.
o
Watching inappropriate commercials.
o
Eyeing the cheerleaders… or the athletes… or
movie stars… whomever.
·
This usually begins in even more subtle and
sneaky ways. Especially when we make excuses… instead of paying attention to
Him and who we are in Him.
o
Cup of coffee.
o
Talking for hours on the phone.
o
Emotional connection
o
Giving your heart to someone/thing else.
o
SINGLES: When we find our fullness in things
outside of a relationship with Jesus.
Let’s
expose the lies again:
·
Society’s
Lie –
o it’s
ok… quit worrying… it’s only a little bit wrong… doesn’t this feel good? Isn’t
that friendship/relationship important to you?
o …or
even things like everyone’s doing it… or that won’t effect you …or my spouse
doesn’t care– you were just born with those desires…
o it’s
a social issue not a sin issue… the world around you is celebrating these
issues & our culture has changed, so we must embrace a new Biblical view on
sex.
o This
puts the emphasis on our own feelings of instead how God sees you and who you
are. It will leave you unsatisfied!
·
Religion’s
Lie –
o You
MUST guard everything… internet filters, don’t watch tv, shelter yourself! …
o these
all sound like the right things, but the motive is self-help and religion… not living in the reality of the King
who loves you.
o OR you go even further those sins are so wrong
that they’re elevated above all other sins and so we must stand AND persecute
anyone who makes those choices… if we don’t band together now against these
issues our society will be destroyed.
o And
we’ve again elevated our feelings and will power over our identity in Christ!
Where is the truth?
Colossians 3:8-9 “But now, because you realize that you
co-died and were co-raised with Christ, you can flush your thoughts with truth!
Permanently put these things behind you: things such as violent outbursts of
rage, depression, all manner of wickedness, slander and every form of irregular
conversation. That old life was a lie, foreign to our design! Those garments of
disguise are now thoroughly stripped off us in our understanding of our union
with Christ in His death and resurrection. We are no longer obliged to live
under the identity and rule of the robes we wore before, neither are we
cheating anyone through false pretentions.”
·
Paul keeps going to drive this home. Don’t just
try and work something up to show your new identity!
·
Renew your mind by realizing that the mystery of
the gospel is that Christ is in you… which means you were dead AND raised with
him through the cross.
·
And I love how the Mirror says to “flush” your
entire mind with this truth: YOU ARE
NEW.
·
All the old stuff was a lie… we don’t have to
pretend, put up a front, or succumb to it’s rule in our lives. Christ in us is
our new identity.
o because
your fullness is in Jesus… and He lives in you… we can live from a place of
righteous desires & thoughts.
o We
can trust that to protect us – This revelation will “strip off” all of our old
understanding.
o It
may seem to simple…
o God’s design is that you’re so full of Him
that you won’t want anything else to satisfy you.
o If
this feels like it’s just too good, that’s why it’s called GRACE!
If we continue to let the opinions or touch of others
define us, then our thoughts and our bodies follow our sexual identity instead
of our new heart into places far from God’s design.
But we need to remember that…
God’s
design is that our hearts remain pure, so our actions follow.
·
Society
– all sex is good
·
Religion
– all sex is bad
·
The truth is both approaches are wrong.
o We
shouldn’t go on sinning so that grace will abound.
o We
shouldn’t exercise so much freedom that carnality wins.
o We
shouldn’t let condemnation dominate our thoughts. (HS leads us to righteousness
conviction)
o We
shouldn’t subject ourselves to the law again and nullify the cross of Christ by
our striving and efforts.
o We
should always love!
·
This is about NOT measuring ourselves AT ALL by
the opinions of feelings that others give us. It’s about fullness in Christ
ALONE.
Healthy Sexual Identity
Over
the past few weeks, we’ve been examining what it means for us to be “Healthy.”
We’ve learned that if we are healthy on the inside, then the fruit we produce
will be good. It’s no different with our sexual health.
·
It begins with understanding in our new hearts.
God has taken out our old hearts (transplant) and replaced it with a heart that
is capable of receiving the presence of God.
·
As we begin to realize that Christ lives in us
(all the fullness of God in us!), that truth takes root in our heart and grows
up into our understanding. It changes the way we think and live.
·
Now, we are free to choose a life of freedom in
all of our bodily actions. Our understanding that our bodies are Christ’s home
becomes a reality that we can
live out daily.
Paul wraps up his section in Colossians 3 with
2 super powerful statements:
3:10
“We stand fully identified in the new
creation renewed in knowledge according to the pattern of the exact image of
our Creator.”
1)
We have been identified by God as His image on
earth. (Reminder of Daniel and Katie’s sermon: We are not trying to tell you what to do, but rather who you are!)
3:12a
“You are the product of God’s love; He
restored you to His original thought.”
2)
His love for us did all the work.
a.
Jesus did it all. We don’t need to do anything!
b.
The sexual identity will never fulfill this
c.
Others giving to us, letting someone else’s view
of us – will never fill us up.
This is so important, because when we realize that world’s
view of sexual identity could become a trap for us: most Christians try and
protect themselves…
And we fall into the temptation of religion’s view of sexual
identity. (personal here)
·
Talked about the rules I had in Bible college
that didn’t change my obedience.
·
No amount of internet filters, accountability
partners, or sheltered living will heal the identity issue.
·
These things in and of themselves are not wrong BUT… Only the realization of
Christ in us… and how the Father now sees us will change the way we think and
the way we live towards sex.
Our
new way to think…
·
All have sinned.
·
Jesus took the penalty of that sin.
·
When we place our faith in Jesus, we take on His
life, death and resurrection as our new identity.
·
When the Father looks at us, He now sees the
blood of Jesus… He sees His finished work covering our lives.
·
No longer do we need to live letting our “sexual sins” define our lives… those
days are dead and buried.
·
Now, we are free to let the truth of the gospel
define us.
·
Now, when temptation comes (and it will…
temptation is not sin), thank God that the desires of your flesh have been
crucified with Christ & make the choice to pursue Him only… not what the
world says you should pursue.
It
all come back to Fullness
·
The world tells us that fullness comes when we
are sexually satisfied.
·
Religion tells us that fullness comes when we
protect ourselves from all sex.
·
The Bible tells us that sex within the marriage
context is a good thing that has been twisted and corrupted by the lies of the
enemy.
·
Our new identity tells us that fullness only
comes through relationship with Jesus.
·
When we are “full of Jesus,” the desires of our
body will reflect that… not carnal desires, not religious fervor… but holy
desires.
·
And when this revelation comes… you’ll find
yourself FREE!
Turn things back over to the campuses… Prayer
Offering
MINISTRY TIME:
We’re going to start ministry early today.
We want to put the following thoughts/questions before you to respond to after
worship.
How can we pray for your identity today?
·
For everyone’s intimacy with Jesus to increase.
·
For the purity of our singles
·
For the intimacy of our couples (some need to
celebrate).
·
For redemption of those who have sinned...God's
grace is definitely big enough! (the cross was a success).
·
For redemption for those who have been sinned
against.
Closing Announcements: HEALING ROOMS
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