Matthew 5:21-26
ANGER & RELATIONSHPS
ANGER & RELATIONSHPS
June 10, 2007
Intro:
It was an evening in early November of 2005. Red lobster was having their yearly all you can eat shrimp feast and I had been wearing Ashley down to go. I finally talked her into it one night. We were in our blazer, headed down Ridge Road to go to Red Lobster. I haven’t really found any roads here like Ridge Road yet. Fields Ertel comes close, but Ridge was much more congested. It was two lanes each direction, but the city was in the process of widening it to three lanes each way with multiple turn lanes in the center. It was dusk, the sun had set, but it wasn’t really night yet. We were about two hundred yards from a stop light and starting to slow down when I noticed a candle lit prayer vigil going on right next to the curb on my left. I remembered that a young teen had recently been killed in a car accident near that area. I looked back up, and saw that cars in front of me were stopping more rapidly, so I braked a little harder and slowed down to nearly a complete stop. The next thing I knew I felt the car jerk forward uncontrollably as I heard the crunch of someone rear ending me. I was instantly angry. The adrenaline and testosterone started flowing immediately and I was ticked. Thoughts flooded my head in a matter of seconds… This was purposeful, I knew it… She was gawking at the prayer vigil and not paying attention to the road… She better get a big ticket for this… She’s buying us a new car… I looked down and realized that my knuckles were white from gripping the steering wheel so tightly because of my anger.
Rational thought flew out the window. Like she would purposefully get in a car accident that was going to cost her a ticket and raised insurance premiums, let alone the fact that she had her grandchild in the car with her at the time and would not have done anything to purposefully put her at risk.
Anger is one of the most common emotions on the spectrum of human emotions. We deal with it constantly. From minor frustrations and things that just get under our skin to people who drive us crazy to situations and circumstances which fill us with rage, anger is all around us and part of our every day lives. If that’s the case, wouldn’t it be good if we got God’s take on anger?
Read Matthew 5:21-26 – Whats the passage really about?
Intro:
It was an evening in early November of 2005. Red lobster was having their yearly all you can eat shrimp feast and I had been wearing Ashley down to go. I finally talked her into it one night. We were in our blazer, headed down Ridge Road to go to Red Lobster. I haven’t really found any roads here like Ridge Road yet. Fields Ertel comes close, but Ridge was much more congested. It was two lanes each direction, but the city was in the process of widening it to three lanes each way with multiple turn lanes in the center. It was dusk, the sun had set, but it wasn’t really night yet. We were about two hundred yards from a stop light and starting to slow down when I noticed a candle lit prayer vigil going on right next to the curb on my left. I remembered that a young teen had recently been killed in a car accident near that area. I looked back up, and saw that cars in front of me were stopping more rapidly, so I braked a little harder and slowed down to nearly a complete stop. The next thing I knew I felt the car jerk forward uncontrollably as I heard the crunch of someone rear ending me. I was instantly angry. The adrenaline and testosterone started flowing immediately and I was ticked. Thoughts flooded my head in a matter of seconds… This was purposeful, I knew it… She was gawking at the prayer vigil and not paying attention to the road… She better get a big ticket for this… She’s buying us a new car… I looked down and realized that my knuckles were white from gripping the steering wheel so tightly because of my anger.
Rational thought flew out the window. Like she would purposefully get in a car accident that was going to cost her a ticket and raised insurance premiums, let alone the fact that she had her grandchild in the car with her at the time and would not have done anything to purposefully put her at risk.
Anger is one of the most common emotions on the spectrum of human emotions. We deal with it constantly. From minor frustrations and things that just get under our skin to people who drive us crazy to situations and circumstances which fill us with rage, anger is all around us and part of our every day lives. If that’s the case, wouldn’t it be good if we got God’s take on anger?
Read Matthew 5:21-26 – Whats the passage really about?
Maybe it’s about anger in our hearts being equal to murder… (21 & 22a)
You’ve heard it said…
Exodus 20:13, one of the 10 Commandments “thou shall not murder…” Pretty self explanatory. Don’t kill anyone.
The inside feelings and thoughts of murder, hatred, etc… not addressed directly
Jesus’ take on the situation…
Anger in your heart = murder in God’s eyes.
With Jesus, it’s about the heart of the issue. What’s going on inside?
So what is anger?
American Psychological Association defines it as…
“an emotional state that varies in intensity from mild irritation to intense fury and rage accompanied by muscle tension, an accelerated heartbeat, a "knot" or "butterflies" in your stomach, changes in your breathing, trembling, goose bumps, and/or being flushed in the face.”
Scripture defines it as…
Rage, wrath, provocation, passion
American Psychological Association defines it as…
“an emotional state that varies in intensity from mild irritation to intense fury and rage accompanied by muscle tension, an accelerated heartbeat, a "knot" or "butterflies" in your stomach, changes in your breathing, trembling, goose bumps, and/or being flushed in the face.”
Scripture defines it as…
Rage, wrath, provocation, passion
So, is all anger sin?
Mark 3:1-6
Jesus gets angry.
Eph 4:26-27
In your anger, don’t sin. Seems to be an option.
The emotional and biological chain reaction are not always controllable, your reaction and consequent actions are… That is what determines sin.
Righteous Anger V.S. Unrighteous Anger…
Mark 3:1-6
Jesus gets angry.
Eph 4:26-27
In your anger, don’t sin. Seems to be an option.
The emotional and biological chain reaction are not always controllable, your reaction and consequent actions are… That is what determines sin.
Righteous Anger V.S. Unrighteous Anger…
What’s worth getting angry about?
Would God be angry in this situation?
What is a Christian response to Anger?
Unrighteous Anger – Grace & Prayer
Romans 12:17-21
Righteous Anger – Grace, Prayer, Determination to action, Godly motives
Maybe it’s about our speech and our response to anger… (22b)
The normal response to anger is first verbal…
Get cut off on the road, car breaks down, trip and fall carrying something important, etc…
Luke 6:45 – out of the overflow of a mans heart his mouth speaks
What’s your heart been saying?
Eph. 4:29
Some translations “Means of grace…”
Our words in difficult situations should have the ability to show grace to those around us.
If grace is in the heart, grace should come out the mouth..
Maybe it’s about making peace with others after anger… (23 & 24)
We should make peace with others before worship?
People hearing would have had an OT context in mind…
Isaiah 1:10-17
Amos 5:21-24
God desired righteous living over worship and sacrifices
Make peace with people regardless of fault or blame…
99.9% of the time both parties are at fault in some way.
Don’t let miscommunications or assumptions drive a wedge in relationships.
This requires two things…
Radical humility…
Radical grace…
Matthew 18:15-20 – Godly confrontation
Who do you need to make peace with before coming to God?
Maybe it’s about the eternal consequences of our actions when we’re angry…(25-26)
There’s Courtroom imagery here…
Judges decision is binding and final
Settle out of court – make peace or face judgment
God’s judgment on our actions
Matt 18:21-30
Pass on grace to others…
James 2:12-13
Forgive and you’ll be forgiven…
Maybe it’s about all these things… Because it’s about right relationships at all costs…
Murder, Anger, Hatred, Verbal Attacks… all symptoms of relationships gone bad.
We serve a relational God. We’ve got to love people…
Romans 13:8-10
Love God, Love people.
Listening to the heart of the master…
Having a right relationship with God means right relationships with people at all costs, or it may cost you eternity.
Unrighteous Anger – Grace & Prayer
Romans 12:17-21
Righteous Anger – Grace, Prayer, Determination to action, Godly motives
Maybe it’s about our speech and our response to anger… (22b)
The normal response to anger is first verbal…
Get cut off on the road, car breaks down, trip and fall carrying something important, etc…
Luke 6:45 – out of the overflow of a mans heart his mouth speaks
What’s your heart been saying?
Eph. 4:29
Some translations “Means of grace…”
Our words in difficult situations should have the ability to show grace to those around us.
If grace is in the heart, grace should come out the mouth..
Maybe it’s about making peace with others after anger… (23 & 24)
We should make peace with others before worship?
People hearing would have had an OT context in mind…
Isaiah 1:10-17
Amos 5:21-24
God desired righteous living over worship and sacrifices
Make peace with people regardless of fault or blame…
99.9% of the time both parties are at fault in some way.
Don’t let miscommunications or assumptions drive a wedge in relationships.
This requires two things…
Radical humility…
Radical grace…
Matthew 18:15-20 – Godly confrontation
Who do you need to make peace with before coming to God?
Maybe it’s about the eternal consequences of our actions when we’re angry…(25-26)
There’s Courtroom imagery here…
Judges decision is binding and final
Settle out of court – make peace or face judgment
God’s judgment on our actions
Matt 18:21-30
Pass on grace to others…
James 2:12-13
Forgive and you’ll be forgiven…
Maybe it’s about all these things… Because it’s about right relationships at all costs…
Murder, Anger, Hatred, Verbal Attacks… all symptoms of relationships gone bad.
We serve a relational God. We’ve got to love people…
Romans 13:8-10
Love God, Love people.
Listening to the heart of the master…
Having a right relationship with God means right relationships with people at all costs, or it may cost you eternity.
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