Revealing the Vineyard Family - October 18, 2015

Here's a brief outline from yesterday's message. I went "off script" a few times but the heart of the talk is all here. Enjoy.

DOMINANT THOUGHT: An authentic community is real because first it is righteous.

Story

   ·      Summer of 2004

   ·      People I trusted… did life with… shared my concerns, dreams, prayers with

   ·      And not just every once in awhile, but weekly we poured out our hearts to each other.

   ·      One day I expressed my concern over an issue I saw in this group’s life.

   ·      Within days, almost all of our friendships were over…

   ·      Tears, frustration, attacks on my family

   ·      It was among the hardest things we’ve ever gone through in our lives.

   ·      We left that situation wondering if we could ever be real with people again… wondering if we could ever trust a group on that level again.

Dilemma – we all want a family… we all want a place to belong… we all want a cause to fight for and people to fight alongside… but many of us are not ready for the transparency, vulnerability and honesty that comes from really being known intimately… we’re scared because our “experience” has taught us to be wary… and even sometimes to be cynical.

Recap Series – We are REVEALING the VINEYARD FAMILY

   ·      Hap/Di – story and foundation

   ·      Putty – 4 pillars of who we are (slide)

   ·      Clay – talked our global tribe

   ·      Today, we talk a little more intimately about our day-to-day “tribe” experience. Those sitting in the rows next to you.

   ·      Before I pray, pass out nametags (silly thing just to break down some barriers).

PRAYER

Word

Today, we are going to unpack some of Paul’s ideas of how the church should interact with each other. Now, this is not a set of rules… rather it’s a way of thinking that comes from being transformed by the power of the Holy Spirit.

(A) To be an authentic community, we need to give up our old thinking.

   ·      We need stop looking to the world for our model on relationships & realize that with Jesus we have the power to create a new normal in the power of Holy Spirit.

   ·      Ephesians 4:17 Now this I say and testify in the Lord, that you must no longer walk as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their minds. 18 They are darkened in their understanding, alienated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them, due to their hardness of heart. 19 They have become callous and have given themselves up to sensuality, greedy to practice every kind of impurity.

   ·      Giving up our orphan mentality

   ·      Putting aside the old man

   ·      Leaving our flesh behind to walk in the Spirit

   ·      Discarding our offense and picking up love.

 (B) To be an authentic community, we need to begin to think like Jesus.

   ·      Good opportunity to share the gospel in this section

   ·      Ephesians 4:20 But that is not the way you learned Christ!— 21 assuming that you have heard about him and were taught in him, as the truth is in Jesus, 22 to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, 23 and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, 24 and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.

   ·      Christ died both as us and as an example for us.

   ·      Understand your place in the kingdom (sons and daughters)

   ·      You have been reborn… you ARE a new person.

   ·      The Father has counted you holy, royal, sanctified in Him.

   ·      You are free (from everything that used to bind you up)… begin to live like it!

   ·      Think like you are born of heaven and not of this earth.

  ·      When we begin to do this, we will interact with our family, our church and our world in a completely different way.

   ·      SOFIA THE FIRST – finding out what being “royal” is all about

   ·      But, it’s not just a ME thing… it’s bigger than that.

(C) To be an authentic community, we need to think of the other person’s identity.

   ·      We can’t stay wrapped in our own journey… in our own change… when we do, we replace one lie (about ourselves) for the lie of not caring about the lif-change of the people around us.

   ·      Ephesians 4:25 Therefore, having put away falsehood, (the lie is gone!)

   ·      let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. 26 Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, 27 and give no opportunity to the devil. 28 Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need. 29 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

   ·      God not only has given you a new identity, but to everyone who says YES to Him.

   ·      When we see the other person’s value…

o   We will always speak the truth… no masks

o   We will always be patient and seek reconciliation… no delays

o   We will always act with honor and find our place on the team… no leeches.

o   We will always let our speech reflect the heart of the Father… no exceptions.

   ·      ONLY IN JESUS is their freedom to live this way… we can’t force it on our own strength… the transforming power of the Spirit alone has the ability to give you grace to live without

o   Gossip

o   Slander

o   Bitter thoughts

o   And toxic language

As we pursue these ideas… who am I? Plus, who are the people around me? In the Father’s eyes… in the Father’s family… we will begin to think of the greater good, of the greater community… and think less about ourselves:

(D) To be an authentic community, we need to think unity above precision.

   ·      (Julie pastor at Urbana) – we will begin to move from being a taker… and move into the grace of being a giver to those around us/community.

   ·      Ephesians 4:30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. 32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

   ·      Ephesians 4:1-3 has value here also

   ·      We will remain humble to avoid pride.

   ·      We will remain gentle to avoid more fuel on fires.

   ·      We will strive to understand someone’s pain to avoid talking behind his or her back.

   ·      We will keep short accounts to avoid bitterness.

   ·      We will focus on loving others to avoid having to always be “right/correct.”

STORY

   ·      Fred Johnson – love her more a year from now

   ·      No decisions are ever made on our own

   ·      We began to create dreams together

   ·      First child… 5^th child

   ·      Creating new dreams together

   ·      Ephesians 5 – Give up your lives out of reverence for Jesus

   ·      He gave up everything for us.

   ·      Forgiveness is a choice, an action step, a verb

Mission

What should we do with all of this?

• Begin to understand that we cannot be real with one another until we understand our righteousness in Christ.
• From there is birthed an understanding of how the Father sees all of His followers as righteous.
• From there is birthed authenticity with one another…
• For we begin to see each other as Jesus sees us.
• For we begin to see each other’s destiny and purpose, rather than our hurts, pains, offenses…. Or even just our quirkiness 

WHAT HAPPENS when the church begins to live this way?!

   1.     First, the culture of our churches change.

   2.     Second, the world begins to take notice of the way we do life.

   3.     Finally, the way we “do relationships” outside the church walls begins to change too…

   4.     And in turn, we begin to change the atmosphere…

So, lets go on this mission together.

• Value and importance of Small Groups - practice & training ground for authenticity
• Value and importance of serving on teams – practice and training ground for the right way to do conflict.
• Value of our Tribe – no longer a “country club” of believers meeting for karaoke on Sundays, but a “Grace Filled Family” on mission to bring about the Kingdom in the way we relate to each other… to change the atmosphere of our cities by our love… and the demonstration of that love.

Story Matters...

After a great weekend with Alan Scott, I was super encouraged about how much STORY matters in the life of the church. Alan is constantly trying to get his people out into the community to change the story of their city with the gospel. YOU have a story and it really matters. If you want to explore this idea a little further, check out this talk I gave a couple of years ago (May 2013) called "SHARE YOUR STORY"

http://urbana.thevineyardchurch.us/sermon/share-your-story/

**for some reason, I'm beardless... can't imagine why I shaved, lol... enjoy the message anyway!

Weddings and more

Hey friends,

Been a busy month in the life of the Waters' family and what we are doing. I've had many chances to share with many people. But, the highlight of the month was the wedding of my good friends Samantha and Chuck. Here's a snippet of the wedding talk. Enjoy!

Tumey-Hill Wedding

When Corrie and I agreed to house a band… we had no idea…

When they met around a fire on our back patio…

When they became friends via texting…

So happy to see our long-time friend in Samantha and now our new friend in Chuck find not only a friendship… But now through that relationship, you’ve been able to…

  ·      But a strong love for each other.

  ·      A strong companion to face life challenges.

  ·      A perfect compliment.

  ·      Helpmates in times of trouble.

  ·      Someone to share the completeness of your lives with.

  ·      Someone to be totally transparent with.

  ·      You’ve found the right person to bring out the best in one another.

We are now going to have a short conversation …invite audience to listen in:

The Cure for Loneliness

·      Did you know that God himself performed the first wedding? Genesis 2:15-25

  ·      15 The Lord God placed the man in the Garden of Eden to tend and watch over it. 16 But the Lord God warned him, “You may freely eat the fruit of every tree in the garden— 17 except the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. If you eat its fruit, you are sure to die.”

  ·      18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” 19 So the Lord God formed from the ground all the wild animals and all the birds of the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would call them, and the man chose a name for each one. 20 He gave names to all the livestock, all the birds of the sky, and all the wild animals. But still there was no helper just right for him.

  ·      21 So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the Lord God took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the opening. 22 Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man.

  ·      23 “At last!” the man exclaimed.

  ·      “This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken from ‘man.’”

  ·      24 This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.

  ·      25 Now the man and his wife were both naked, but they felt no shame.

  ·      This is an amazing story. He thought that this covenant was so important that He blessed it by his own words and presence.

  ·      The only perfect covenant (pre-sin).

  ·      God knew that even though He and man were in perfect relationship that Adam could not fully reflect his image until he had to sacrifice for someone else… until he could express his love for someone else.

Joined in a New Love

  ·      Mark 10:6-9 ~ But `God made them male and female' from the beginning of creation. `This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.' Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together."

  ·      The old person doesn’t disappear, but gets better in the marriage of the two of them. Suddenly in marriage, we become interdependent on one another. We realize that when we hurt the other person, we are actually hurting ourself.

  ·      The apostle Paul actually said that Jesus looks at his church as his bride. So he sees himself as one with us. This then is reflected and pictured in the marriage relationship. Everything ordained of God on earth reflects a heavenly reality.

  ·      In marriage, you actually find attainable the reality to love your neighbor as yourself in ways that you can’t in any other relationship.

  ·      The love of Jesus is described in 1 Corinthians 13 (read)… this now becomes the love the two of you will emulate for each other.

  ·      4 Love is patient, love is kind.

  ·      It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

  ·      5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

  ·      6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

  ·      7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

  ·      8 Love never fails.

My Life is No Longer My Own

  ·      From this day forward, you have chosen to lay down your life… Jesus said that there is “no greater love” than to lay it down for your friends.

  ·      And today, you are marrying as best friends.

  ·      Today, you are laying down your own rights and picking up the right to choose the other persons needs.

  ·      Today, you are becoming more like Jesus than you can possibly imagine.

  ·      Today, you are choosing submission to the one you love over your independence, over your personal dreams… and you’re saying that the completeness of our union… and those dreams… will be more beautiful than what I could’ve been on my own.

  ·      Listen to how Paul describes this beautiful picture: Ephesians 5:21-33 à

  ·      21 And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

  ·      22 For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. 24 As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.

  ·      25 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her 26 to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. 27 He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. 28 In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. 29 No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. 30 And we are members of his body.

  ·      31 As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” 32 This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. 33 So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

  ·      don’t get hung up on “submission.” The Greek word means to “give up your life.” So, as you have given up your lives for Jesus, so now you put that into human action by putting someone else’s needs above your own.

  ·      You have both chosen a life of sacrifice for God. You are now choosing a marriage that is underneath the sacrifice of God. No decision, plan, activity or purchase will be made on your own. You make them in covenant with Jesus and with one another.