Sunday, January 12, 2025
Sunday, January 05, 2025
Tuesday, December 24, 2024
Monday, December 23, 2024
Living between Heaven & Humanity 12/23/2024
“Living between Heaven & Humanity”
A day filled with house guests, a sudden death, a miracle, a beautiful good-bye, Scrooge & another miracle… and then more house guests.
***Warning: Long Blog-Like Ramble Approaching***
I don’t think that I will ever forget 12/23/24.
HOUSE GUESTS part 1
A few days ago, Corrie and I’s best friends from college who now live in Wisconsin asked if they could crash with their 3 girls at our house Sunday night. They knew it was the holidays and it may not be possible… especially in a pastor’s house. But, they were coming to Illinois for a funeral. We love them and couldn’t think of saying “no”, so it was an easy yes even during a super busy week. They’d come in after supper on the 22nd and leave early on the 23rd for Washington, IL and the funeral… little did we know they were here for us too.
Sometime around 4am the Lord woke me up… this doesn’t happen often. Me and logs and hibernating bears are in a 3 way tie for “impossible to wake up.” I don’t even dream that much… plus I went to bed late after watching movies with my Wisconsin peeps… but there I was wide-awake. Which usually means, God wants me to pray. Enter heaven. He always knows so much and is always ready and never surprised… I knew the truth 30 seconds into my prayers that my second dad and Corrie’s dad… had passed away.
Around 7:00am, I actually got up (made myself stay in bed since I knew I’d be working till 8 or 9pm today. Got up, let the dogs out, made coffee… and waited. I knew what was coming (heaven) but my humanity really just wanted to see my friends off as they had to leave around 8am.
SUDDEN DEATH
Corrie rolled downstairs… kids started to slowly emerge… our friends were all dressed up and ready to leave town. Around 8ish the phone-call came. Lots of crying from the girls… and Corrie. And (heaven again) God had Corrie’s college roommate in the house to sit on the floor in her funeral clothes and comfort her while I had my middle child in my lap (humanity in action). I know they were here to go to a different funeral, but it so felt like God put them here just for us… just when we needed them.
The next couple hours are a blur… lots and lots and lots of texts and phone calls to family and work and all of the things… plus letting Corrie’s step-mom know… plus, plus, plus… we all know the humanity of a death of a parent in a family. Everything resets in the stratosphere to zero… and it feels like starting all over again with who we are as a community.
Oh did I mention I’m a pastor? …and we have maybe our busiest day of the year happening TODAY as a church family. Not only does Christmas service 3 out of 4 happen today, but there’s a staff meeting, an end of year deposit to make before the banks close for Christmas, and we’re taking our new missionaries to South Africa to the airport.
Thankfully I took a bunch of details from Corrie… my mom took her to Pekin to see her dad’s body & get the will & talk with her step-mom… my kids decided to go spend all of the gift cards grandpa gave them Friday night (btw a week earlier than the Christmas we thought we’d have with him) to honor him… and I rolled up my sleeves to try and get some “work done” before the airport.
MIRACLE
In the midst of all of this crazy humanity, the Lord did something amazing this week… of all of the days… just wow, Lord. 2024 for many churches has been tough financially. Psst… the economy hasn’t been flourishing… big BOMB right?! LOL. We were a lil’ behind and had just talked with our church earlier this month about steps we were taking to be frugal in early 2025 (probably still a good idea)… but enter heaven again. The Lord says: “I’ve got this.” Over the past few days, our end of the year giving has been nothing short of a miracle… we wrote two miraculous different deposits today that has us all caught up. Today God? And all I kept hearing was look at how I care about everything… I woke you up to talk with you about the day, I put amazing people around you, I took care of your biggest worry… I LOVE YOU.
How much did he love us?
Well, people picked up our groceries from Walmart for us… our Vineyard Pastors from other churches reached out to us… our small group and our STELLAR neighbors texted us… former neighbors found out and reached out… our church staff and team were amazing…. How do people do the HUMANITY PART without the church?! Seriously, heaven invaded our phones today through our “village”
A BEAUTIFUL GOODBYE
Around 1pm, I get home… my kids are all out shopping but my son. My phone calls have slowed after Corrie reminded me to get dog food… and I finally have a minute to read through my sermon I’m preaching at our 6pm services… only I don’t. Enter humanity again. Good humanity. My kids come home (with a friend now in tow, lol) and tell me all the things they did with grandpa’s gifts. It was awesome as I eat two pieces of lunch meat because I only have 5 minutes to get out the door at this point.
I get to Jordan and Romi’s house to find many of my amazing church family already there to help pack up for the airport… lots of hugs. We get all TWELVE FULL-SIZED rolling suitcases into the bed of my Colorado… perfect fit & drive to the airport with the 5 Rudzinskis and their WHOLE LIFE leaving for the other side of the world (Wellington South Africa) with plans to start a Vineyard Church in a new city… my spiritual kids are leaving!
Like any good dad, I’m strong through most of it…. give them some money to travel with… and then I have to go quicker than I want to because I want to get home when Corrie does from the Peoria area… I kiss them all goodbye… fist bumps with explosion sounds for the kids…. do my best to tell them how proud I am…. Cry big big tears… thank God that I got to be a part of something beautiful they are doing… heaven & humanity all rolled into one.
I’m gonna miss them… I can’t wait to visit South Africa… but again… why is this happening today God? So much letting go… so much excitement… something so beautiful.
SCROOGE?
Corrie and I get home around the same time… we talk about all the “details” of dad’s passing… some harder on me than I thought. Like the fact that our oldest daughter will be in Europe during the funeral… And all hard on Corrie. She’s trying to be strong in the midst of this, but she’s still the baby of the fam dealing with all the stuff and her siblings aren’t here… yet.
I can’t talk long… have to eat a piece of cheese wrapped around a piece of turkey so I don’t have too low of blood sugar… I need to leave for all the “details” of church… and at some point I still need to look at those all important “notes.”
I leave not knowing if Corrie is coming to see her silly husband in his “Scrooge” costume in front of happy Christmas EVE Eve goers tonight… to the church I go! All the details that I haven’t had time to tackle come like a flood as I drive there… humanity. All of the things God has already done today… heaven.
People tonight were awesome… lots of questions about Corrie, lots of hugs, lots of people with no clue…. special shout out to Tracy who ran to get me an Americano from St. Arbucks in spite of the fact she’d already been there and the line was stupid long… shout out to the people who put me in a circle in my office and prayed for me…. shout out to Amazon for the most ridiculous Scrooge pajamas ever.
MIRACLE #2
I really wanted to look over my notes again before the service… and on some level they did get skimmed… but starting at 5:30pm the people started coming. And they just kept coming…. we gave away a ton of guest gifts, still not sure if we ran out of candles, we set up extra chairs, our interns & volunteers & staff killed it on every detail that needed to be detailed… in the end, it was one of the largest services we’ve ever had as a church (and I know that’s true cuz a math teacher counted them all)… today God? Humanity & Heaven.
Before my sermon (I’m supposed to hide in my costume in the back until my cue), I sneak in to hear one worship song before I speak… Corrie is actually here… I’m not crying you’re crying… I sit behind her and watch her worship through the tears… grief and joy… faith & family… heaven & humanity all rolled into one…. oh this day… what a beautiful and full day.
Friends, how does anyone do this life without Jesus?
HOUSE GUESTS #2
I won’t talk much about the message or all of the post-church conversations… many of which were memorable but I’m already too emotional as I continue to “blog this out.” I got home to Corrie’s sister and uncle Larry… they brought amazing fried chicken… and my family brought amazing Wendy’s burgers… finally a meal … x2 as it was “needed” at this point close to 9pm. We had some family time…. there were good hugs… my daughter got home from work as I was typing this post and hugged as we reflected on the day.
It all makes sense somehow today… the humanity and the heaven of all of it
So why write it down?
Cuz life is really short… but eternity is really really long
Don’t wait for something dramatic to shake up your life up so much to choose faith.
Do it while life is good OR normal… and then give up everything for your faith.
It’s all worth it.
AND it really helps on days like today… humanity doesn’t work without heaven.
We can be the best at humanity and still have gaping holes that only heaven can fill.
If you’re reading this, I LOVE YOU… but Jesus loves you more… and eternity with HIM is worth it.
In fact, my Wisconsin friends… my dad in love Allen… my South African friends… and everyone who lives for Jesus… we get to spend eternity in heaven together.
So, though, YES, there’s painful humanity in some spots now… our faith has paved the way for heavenly humanity forever.
